Alison and Emily sat with the rest of Terra Group in the hidden world of Internet-land. Vickie, having just read of their latest adventure, in which the two wingmates gained their sweet swords, was pouting.
"Darnit all," she said, looking at Alison. "You got to block blaster shots before I did."
Emily laughed, grinning. "That's about all they can block. Hummm..." she placed her finger thoughtfully on her chin. "Let's test that with turbolasers. Alison, you get the sword and I'll go get Wes' X-wing."
Enthusiastically, or maybe it was from the high of chocolate covered peanut butter cup, Alison jumped up, grabbing her sword. "Bring it on!"
Emily runs off, only to return moments later in Wes' X-Wing. Snipe, Wes' trusty R2 unit, sat behind Emily as she tried to figure out the weapon systems. "Okay Snipe. I need the turbolasers to connect at... uh... I think 50 meters sounds good. Link two to fire at a time." She plays with a funny knob thingy at the flight stick.
Alison, meanwhile, watches the rest of the Terra Groupers run away while she spits in her hands. Grabbing her sword, she holds it before her, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. In a very Jim Carrey "Mask"-ish voice, she exclaims, "Somebody stop me!"
Emily laughs at her wingmate. "You're gonna be spending two days in a bacta tank in a few minutes," she said over the com as she waited for the weapons to power up.
"As long as I get nice breath mints afterwards," Alison shouted back. "Hobbie tells me that the aftertaste of bacta is bad."
"Fine. Now, pink bacta or blue?"
"Blue. Never been a pink person. Though if you have a nice green color, I'd be swimming in the stuff."
"Sorry, it doesn't come in green."
"Sithspit." Alison kicked the dirt with her toe.
"I might be able to get a purple tone by mixing the two," Emily said thoughtfully. "Bacta Chem 101!"
"But will it maintain its potency and ever loved flavor?"
"I thought you wanted a mint to get rid of the flavor, though?"
"Yeah, I do. But what would bacta be without its flavor?"
"Flavored bacta?"
Alison scratches her head with her sword. "Hey, we could start a bacta cartel on the Spaceport! All different colors and flavors. We'd be rich! We could get the Dia, Ven and Bror clones to talk to the Thyferrans, and our clone Hobbies can be spokespersons."
"Rent-A-Rogue sponsored by Flav-O-Bacta," Emily said in an announcer's voice. "When ya gotta have sweet, ya gotta have life threatening injuries."
Alison laughs. "My gods, this could actually work!"
Emily looks down at her datapad, seeing an upload from Becki. "I think it already has!" Snipe beeps to Emily, letting her know that the weapons are ready. "Here we go!" Emily reaches forward and triggers the button three times. Green laser fire shoots out. Alison's eyes widened, not believing that Emily actually fired the lasers. She ducks, a line of Huttesse swear words spewing from her mouth while she ducks, holding the sword above her head like a shield.
To everyone's amazement, the sword deflects the laser bolts straight up. Opening one eye, Alison realizes that she isn't crispy fried, and stands. She looks at her sword in wonder and admiration. "Sweet!"
Then she is knocked unconscious as a tree branch falls onto her head, knocked loose from the reflected bolts.
Emily, laughing at the sight of her wingman getting bonked, almost crashes into the same tree. Snipe, worried more about his master's ship than the teenage girl at the helm, pulls the X-wing into a steep climb to avoid the collision. "OK, let's not do that again," Emily mutters to herself. She landed the X-wing and tried to jump out of the cockpit, but her foot got stuck on something.
"Um, Alison," Emily called out, a twinge of laughter in her voice. "Please tell me why one of Hobbie's thongs would be stuck in the seat cushion of Wes' X-Wing?"
She grabs the thong and stands above Alison, holding the skimpy undie above her head. Alison opened her eyes. She looked at the thong. "Emily, that isn't Hobbie's. It doesn't have the embroidered `H' on it."
Emily blinks. "And what the heck..." She examined the thong closer, "...is that?"
Alison stood beside her wingmate. "Emily... those don't belong to..." She looks at her wingmate's face with wide eyes.
Snipe rolls up behind the two, beeping away. Emily turns to look at the datapad he is holding out. "Damnit, I can't read Aurabesh!" Smipe lets out an annoyed whistle and changes it to Basic. "Um, Snipe says that's his..."
Alison notices a gift card in a pocket near the crotch. She takes it out and reads it. "Oh MY!" she stated, blushing and putting the card back.
"Can I have a new droid please?!" Emily cries out to no one in particular.
Snipe makes a rude sound, demonstrating that he is pissed off. "All right!" Emily states. "Geez. We know Snipe's gonna be popular with the droids with feminine programming..." she quickly bites her tongue and erases the mental image from her mind.
"What do you expect? It IS Wes' astromech..." Alison carefully hands Emily the thong. Emily takes it between two fingernails and hands it to Snipe, who stores it away in his overhead compartment.
"I guess that explains the copy of Playdroid magazine I found in my basement... and various other items," Emily said, putting down her backpack that just happened to be on her.
"Ok, now this is getting freaky." Alison reached into Emily's bag and pulls out the magazine. "WOW! There's a spread of Whistler!"
"And R2-D2 has an entire article, and C-3PO was voted as `most likely hidden in the closet."
At this point, Mike enters in his trenchcoat. "If you two are done... we have a castle to storm, cloning cylinders to destroy, and other things to blow up."
Alison and Emily sigh and pack the magazine away. They go off after Mike, in which Emily quickly pokes the Matrix-looking Brit in the back with her sword.